The topic of infertility is often not talked about. It’s something a lot of women are dealing with alone. Until now I have never really opened up on social media about my personal struggles with infertility or our miscarriage. I hope that me opening up will help someone else know that they are not alone.
Lets take it back to April 2015. Justin and I had been married almost 3 years and we were ready to start a family! Any young couple would think this is an easy thing to do, right? Wrong, and any one that has had trouble TTC (trying to conceive) knows it's a very trying and stressful journey. After a couple months of trying I started tracking my ovulation. A few months of that and some perfect timing without anything happening, I decided I should reach out to my doctor for them to run some tests. February 2016 rolls around and I made the appointment for the next month and as you would have it days later, I FINALLY saw 2 pink lines on a pregnancy test.
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| my fading & positive tests |
Our excitement quickly turned to sadness when I realized I was having what doctors call a Chemical Pregnancy, because my tests began fading and I got my period.
The day of my doctors appointment (March 2016) came and the test results showed that my tubes were clear, however my egg quality was diminishing sooner than it should be for someone my age, which would make it harder to conceive on our own, if at all.
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| My HSG test |
I was sad, it was sounding like we might have to try a different route to have a baby per the doctors suggestions. I accepted that we will probably have to try a IUI (intrauterine insemination) cycle.
Well low and behold it was that same month that I did in fact get pregnant with our son Logan all on our own. I found out I was pregnant on April 8, 2016.
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| positive pregnancy test |
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| 9 week ultrasound with Logan |
We were cautiously excited as we were afraid it was too good to be true. I had a scare at 9 weeks where I found myself bleeding and had everything checked out and it was ok thankfully. The rest of the pregnancy went smoothly and our son was born 13 days overdue on 1/1/17. (more of his birth story to come)
Fast forward to May 2018, our son was 16 months old and we wanted to give him a sibling! I was fully expecting our TTC journey to be a long one again. Boy was I wrong, we got pregnant that first month we tried. We were shocked and excited, but of course a little cautious.
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| The positive test with the shirt we used to announce to our families |
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| 7 week ultrasound |
I had a ultrasound at around 7w1d and we heard the heartbeat and were feeling good about things. The next week we went on a family vacation to VA Beach. A few days into the trip I began bleeding, it was then that I just knew things weren't good. I went to the doctors the following Monday and it was confirmed I had a miscarriage. We were heartbroken. No one deserves to go through this. It still hurts to think about. I had multiple blood draws to confirm I was no longer pregnant in the month to follow. The next month I was hopeful to be pregnant again, and I decided to take a test and I actually got a positive test! However my anxiety got the best of me and I tested every day and noticed my tests went from dark to light and it was decided this wasn't a viable pregnancy once again.
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| a variety of different brands with positive results |
We continued to try for a few months, I made a few changes to my diet, took some new supplements and that same month we found ourselves pregnant once again! It was days before Christmas, I was so stressed this was going to end bad and put a damper on our holiday that year, but each day passed and the tests got darker and things kept going well.
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| pregnancy test progression, yes I tested daily (common for anyone struggling with infertility) |
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| 7 week ultrasound with Rylee |
The doctors put me on a progesterone medication to help support the pregnancy in case that was my issue with the previous losses. The pregnancy went well overall and our Daughter Rylee was born 9/7/19! (birth story coming for her someday as well)
Overall our journey isn't nearly as LONG and devastating as some, but anyone that has ever dealt with any of this knows its an emotional roller-coaster and mentally exhausting. Some couples have years of infertility struggles and end up needing help from doctors or drugs to get pregnant, and some aren’t able to get pregnant. Others experience multiple losses, some further along, some full term, some at birth, and NO ONE should ever have to go through that. EVER. We have deiced we are complete with our 2 perfect little kiddos and wont be having any more babies.
Thank you for sticking around to read till the end. Let me know what you would like to see from me in terms of content.
